About five years ago I lived a very different life. I lived a life of darkness and despair. I grew up knowing about God and I would occasionally go to church but I didn't really know the Lord. I guess you could say that my God was money and success. That is the one thing I desired more than anything in the world. I wanted to be rich and I was always trying to find ways to make a quick buck. I was a very selfish individual and always thinking about myself. I would pretend to be someone I wasn't. I drove an expensive car and always tried to give the appearance to others that I had it made, but the truth was that I was drowning in debt and I was miserable. No matter what I did I couldn't make it work. I became a very bitter person and fell into a deep depression. For three whole months I disconnected from the outside world. I wouldn't return phone calls, I kept to myself and I didn't want to know about anything. My best friend would try to get in touch with me and I told him that I never wanted to hear from him again and I told him to stay away and that I didn't want to be friends anymore. I felt so angry and mad, I began to resent God because I couldn't understand why he would not allow for me to be rich. Then one day I just exploded and began to curse God and I screamed and yelled out to God. "God, if you are who you really say you are then show yourself to me and tell me why you won't allow me to be rich!" "If I can't be rich, then, I don't want to be part of this world anymore." That night, I challenged God and I asked him to take my life. I said, "If you are so powerful then I dare you to take my life, take it from me this very instant. Strike me with lightning do whatever you want, I JUST WANT TO DIE!!!" Then I said the word's that I would later regret. With a heart of stone I stared straight up to heaven and I said, "I dare you God to take my life, I dare you to give me cancer!" Now I ask you, how selfish does one have to be to ask something like this. I was living in darkness but I didn't know any better, but what I did learn is to be careful what you ask for because God will give it to you but he will give it to you on his terms and not yours!
A few months passed by and I was sitting at work. Then I received the call that would change my life forever. It was my mom and she said, "There is someone here that wants to speak to you, he says that he has been trying to call you for months but you wont return his calls." Then I said, "Mom, I made it clear to him that I didn't want to be friends with him anymore, just send him away and tell him that I can't take his call!" Then my mom said, "NO, you need to speak to him right now!" "Okay, put him on the phone!" "Marco, it's me, Henry and I just want to tell you that I have missed you man and I have been trying to call you because I just learned that I have CANCER." When he said those words I immediately remembered what I had asked God for just a few months before. That very instant I fell to my knees and I began to cry and for the first time in my life I prayed to GOD to forgive me and for him to have mercy on my friend. Henry died a few months later but I thank the Lord for giving me the opportunity to reconcile with my best friend. From that day forward I gave my life to JESUS!
This is my testimony!
Marco Benavides
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